Wow, there is just so much to say - the blog has been silent, only because our lives have been so full lately - it seems we barely have time for laundry and prayer - in that kind of situation, I'd say that blogging takes a backseat (for us, it's more like the trunk!)
So, here is the beginning. (Or the beginning in the middle - b/c really every beginning is already a part of someone else's middle) We moved. We moved and I am so sad. Alex and I spent our first four years of parenthood in the idyllic setting known as Granbury, TX. It would not be idyllic to everyone, but it was to us. We had wonderful friends, a great community, a beautiful home, stable job, financial peace...Granbury was where we became parents, and where I figured out how to be a mom. Granbury was where God led us (I think) for a time of renewal and strengthening. And it was. It was wonderful. And now, we're here. It doesn't really matter where. It could be called anything. But most importantly, it is Not Granbury. It isn't terrible. It isn't really even bad, but it is Not Granbury. It never will be. Just writing that makes me sad. I wonder how people who leave the oasis to go back into the heat of the desert feel. Actually, I don't wonder - I think that I know. They feel like this. Which brings us to this point...Why would anyone in their right mind leave the oasis? Why not just stay?
Alex, my dear, and loving husband had been dissatisfied with his career for several years. Anyone who knows us would know that he served several years active-duty in the military. Even then, he was unhappy. It was a job, it was stable, but it didn't speak to his soul. It wasn't what he was created to do. I'm not a man, so I don't want to put words in his mouth. But, I do think I have a beginning understanding of how important it is for a man to DO something. To do it well, to be affirmed for it, to DO what you were made to do. Because of our faith, we believe that every person was created with something to DO, and that is different for everyone. We also feel that you cannot fully accomplish what you are meant to DO without involving God in the process. Because ultimately, everything we DO should point to His glory. So, Alex knew that he was not DOING what he was created to DO. This left a yawning, gaping, hole in his soul. As he began searching for something else to do, he felt led to go to law school. He mentioned it, we prayed about it, and let it marinate for several weeks and months. Then, we saw confirmation after confirmation, that, YES! This is what God has for you!
There is no good time to quit your stable job, leave your lovely home and go to law school full time. There is no good time to commit to spend hours and hours away from your family ever week. There is no good time to go from plenty of money to relying on your savings to live for the next three years...But, when God calls you and tells you His plan for you, it doesn't matter about the timing. You do it. I am so fortunate to be married to a man who is willing to put his whole family at risk - out on a limb - to follow God's will. So, we did it. We "just did it" - (my son loves to say "Just do it!")
Looking at it rationally, it seems crazy. Those who don't share our faith or value system probably think we are crazy. Truthfully, I think that we are crazy. We are heartbroken to have left our home, where we truly learned the meaning of "fellowship" and "community", and it was our own choice to leave! But, as we grieve, we also look ahead - because there is nowhere else we'd rather be right now than in the middle of God's will for us. We know that He must have something awesome planned for us when we finish law school and I'm hoping that He has something awesome for us in the interim. We pray that this sacrifice will not be lost on our children and that they learn that sacrificing our selfish desires is worth it to obey God's call on your life. Because obedience to God brings about joy that we can't even imagine - and trust me, right now, while I'm grieving our home and friends, I can't imagine that God has something better! But that is faith. Trusting that God will keep His promises, that He is who He says He is in His word.
Psalm 126:5 - They that sow with tears will reap with songs of joy
So here we are - page one of our story, with only our faith to go on; grieving what we have left behind; mourning the loss of all that it was; yet hopeful for the future; looking ahead to all that God has in store for us, over the next three years of law school and beyond.
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