Welcome to Law School

We knew that it would be hard, but seriously?!!! 

Alex and I went to the first ever "Family Day" at his law school today.  First of all, it was funny to see all of Alex's fellow law students - basically, they all brought their mommies.  There was one other "spouse" there - I told Alex - if anyone mistook me for his mother, I'd cut them (I was channeling a little Bon Qui Qui there).  But, if anyone mistook me for his daughter - they could be my new best friend.  Sorry current besties - anyone who thinks that I am young and cute enough to be a daughter - that person is a keeper.  They move to the top of the list.  (I'm fickle that way) 

Luckily - nobody mistook me for either.  That was probably the highlight of the whole morning.  That and the extra crispy bacon they served for breakfast.  I can't believe that I only had one and a half pieces.  I am regretting that decision.  They had a whole buffet pan of it - Right now, I am wishing that I had stuffed some of it in my purse for later.  That could have been dinner.  Anyhow, I digress.

What a depressing morning.  Here is what you need to know about law school if your loved one attends:  It sucks.  And just wait, because it only gets worse.  Don't expect to see your spouse/child/significant other anytime during the holiday season.  Your children can expect to be fatherless for the next three years.  Seriously, this is an exact quote:  "If you have children, you should especially sit them down at the end of October and let them know that it is not because you love them any less...." 

Some more good advice from the Director of the Office of Academic & Student Affairs:  "Love them, Allow them to change, and Watch and Warn"  - In context, this was her acronym for helping your student survive law school:
L- Love them unconditionally, b/c the professors and faculty are there to judge your student.
A- Allow them to change.  Because they will (I am not sure if this is for the better or not)
W - Watch and warn.  If you notice your student becoming reclusive, not eating, not sleeping, etc...call the office of Student and Academic Affairs - they want to make sure that your student is okay. 

Encouraging, right?

The other very depressing thing was this:  They presented a mock class where they dissected a case that had been emailed to all the participants.  It was a very simple case - but the class was super fun.  Basically, in law school, there are no right answers.  Either side could have a case - and we just spent the time arguing either side, with the professor "moderating" the discussion, asking leading questions, etc....  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I think that my parents could attest to my enjoyment of general arguing as a hobby or pastime.  That, in itself is not that depressing, I guess - I just felt a little envious.  Alex gets to do this super-fun thing all day, every day while I read Curious George for the millionth time, all day, every day. 

Processing this has been hard for me.  I know that God has called me to be a mom right now - And I don't want to seem ungrateful for my wonderful children - they are really wonderful.  And I am so so so so happy to be home with them.  It is a choice that we made to have kids.  And I know that there is no way I could "do it all" - I am just not under that illusion. Something has to give.  We (Alex and I) decided that we did not want parenting or our marriage to be the thing that gave.  Which is why I left the work force.  But, my old, ugly, selfishness rears its head sometimes, and I am left thinking "What about me?  Don't I have more to contribute?"  I know that this is NOT from the Lord, but it is so hard to work through that.  Today's academia just brought that up and I am having to leave it at the foot of the Lord again.  Oh, it is so hard to lay that selfish pride down.  Can I get an Amen?  Seriously - sometimes I feel like I am the ONLY one in the world who struggles with this time and time again - but I digress again. 

So anyhow, not a great morning at law school - to sum it up:

1) Alex and I are older than a large group of his fellow law students, but if any of them thought I was young, I'd be their best friend.
2) Law school has good extra crispy bacon.
3) We will not be seeing Alex for the next three years
4) We will especially not be seeing Alex during any major holiday time
5) Law school professors foolishly think that a two and four year old will understand and accept the rigor of the academic process and appreciate this excuse to explain daddy's absenteeism.  
6) We must somehow watch Alex carefully (despite not seeing him ever) to make certain that he doesn't go crazy from all the stress
7)  Julie is selfish and prideful and is working on laying it down at the feet of the Lord

 I don't want to end on such a negative note (I'm a bigger person than the law school!) - because that will send me into another round of tears and frantic prayers "Are you sure this is what you have for us, God?"  So, I will just mention the delicious bacon again.   We can all finish reading the post with our minds focused on the wonderful gift and blessing of bacon.  (Even non-pork eaters, you know who  you are, turkey bacon is  still a delicious alternative - not as great as real bacon, but certainly better than no bacon at all!)   Ahhhh....Bacon.